【DM】 On the horizon of this forest path you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging towards you, what do you do?
【PL1】 My half orc barbarian braces her great hammer, and
PL1 Roll 1D20 = 1 大失败
【PL1】 thar's a 1.
【DM】 Critical fail. Steve what do you do?
【PL2】 Well I believe in anticipation my rogue would try and hide behind a tree.
PL2 Roll 1D20 = 1 大失败
【PL2】 Ok, I rolled a 1.
【DM】 That's another critical fail. Tom what does your human bard do?
【PL3】 Active perception check.
PL3 Roll 1D20 = 20 大成功
【DM】 That's a natural 20.
【PL3】 Let's fucking go!
【PL3】 I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
These motherfuckers mean to harm us
and they got to go
So come on, get 'em now
You picked the wrong day
to fuck around with my
TIGHT CREW
There's no escaping it
I can perceive you
Here's what we're gonna do
Me and my boys gonna mess you up
PL1 Roll 1D20 = 1 大失败
【PL1】 I rolled a 1.
PL2 Roll 1D20 = 1 大失败
【PL2】 I rolled a 1.
【PL3】 FUCK
My boys are otherwise engaged
so I'm gonna bring it all myself
【PL3】 Hey I forgot. You're suppose to tell me what I see, right?
【DM】 Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit. So you noticed that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter ——
【PL3】 I cast VICIOUS MOCKERY.
PL3 Roll 1D20 = 20 大成功
【PL3】 I cast VICIOUS MOCKERY. Nat 20, let's go!
【PL3】 You're a short mutherfucker
and nobody likes you
SHORT
Everybody says
"Look how fucking short that guy is"
and that stops you from forming meaningful relationships
When you were born
everybody thought that you were just a head
but then the doctor said
WAIT
This stupid mutherfuckin tiny short ass
baby got a tiny little itty bitty body
and I
HATE IT
【DM】 Your attack lands and absolutely shatters the mind of the cloaked figure. Perception check, please.
PL3 Roll 1D20 = 20 大成功
【PL3】 Nat 20. Let's go.
【DM】 You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CHILD!
【PL3】 It's always a kid.
【DM】 Specifically the child you've been looking for, for the last 15 days game time and 5 days of our actual lives.
【PL3】 Ok, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'll be better. His body's just lying there right?
【PL3】 Reight?
【DM】 Yes? Don't —— 【PL3】 LOOT THAT BODY
gotta loot that body now
LOOT THAT BODY
gotta loot that mutherfucker
Playing my flute when I loot that dead kid's body
BITCH! |